One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold". At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute how come you called God 'Harold'"?
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church.
You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy Name."
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And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church asked: "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle... and He just then did!"
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One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer:
"Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, If I should die before I wake,that's one less test I have to take."
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A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. "Dear God, thank you for these pancakes..." When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, "I thought I'd see if He was paying attention tonight."
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A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy
and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of
yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."
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A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy:
"So your mother says your prayers for you each night Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!".
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A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?".
"I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he
emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a
prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed
them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter? "Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"  "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of
school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens
at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.